More...of THE LIST

1.  Unwanted facial hair:  the great equalizer.  Truth:  People DO notice your mustache.  When in doubt, WAX.

2.  Transitioning from brunette to blonde sans trained professional is ALWAYS a BAD idea.

3.  At some point, wearing clothing purchased from the juniors department just makes you look silly.

4.  If you really think diamonds are a girl's best friend, you probably need to go out and find better friends.

5.  You will never again look as young as you do RIGHT NOW.

6.  The Truth:  No one really likes a woman who thinks she is a princess and acts accordingly.  They are only humoring you.

7.  Don't pass gas while out in public with your child and expect it to remain a secret.

8.  Believe it or not, there are those in this world less fortunate than you.  Take a minute to ponder that - then stop complaining.

9.  As much fun as they are, Jersey Shore, Skins, and The Bachelor do not count as culture or current events.  Blend some real life in with your reality at least once a week.

10.  Listen to good music.  Its good for the soul, and more pleasant for those within earshot of your speakers.



11. And the final thought for the day... Its ok to cry, if you really, really need to.

The Mommy Wars

I cringe every time I see a blog or article that pits working mothers against stay-at-home mothers. The term "working mother" when used in comparison with "stay-at home mother" insinuates that the latter is not working...noooo they are sitting at home, in front of the television, eating bon-bons all day. What a crock! 

Staying at home with your children, and managing to keep them engaged is probably one of the toughest challenges a parent could take on.  I have a lot of respect girlfriends of mine that live this life.  Its a life with great rewards and benefits, but make no mistake - it isnt easy.  These mothers don't get a lunch hour, smoke break, or time to chat at the water cooler.  Their challenge is balance - where in the day does the mommy turn into a wife, a woman?

Working outside of the home has its own, different challenges.  I am not home with my son during the day, though I am blessed to have found child-care that is both enriching and loving.  I work, on average, 8-10 hours a day.  My husband takes our son to school and picks him up.  I miss out on a lot of things, and I really hate that.  But guilt has no place in a happy home.  My son and I have quality time every morning before I leave and every evening before he goes to bed.  We read, play, dance, act foolish - and its the highlight of my day.  the challenge for the mother that works outside the home is balance. it is like two full time jobs on a part time schedule. 

The greatest gift we, as women and mothers, can give each other is the gift of understanding and empathy.  No one wins in the show down between us, and besides that - its an unecessary exercise.  We are all working toward the same goal- happy, well adjusted children that turn in to good, independent people.

I tip my hat (well, i would if I had one) to all of my fellow mothers, working both inside and outside of the home - for the dedication and love you give.  Lets all support one another, shall we?

Things I learned the hard way...

Think back to age 16, and the times you said "I can't wait to turn 18 and GET OUT OF HERE!"  If you're anything like me, you wish you could sit down with your 16 year old self and have a very frank discussion.  It would start out something like "I realize, self, that you do, in fact, know everything.  You are prepared for the "real world" and what it has in store for you...but humor me for a few minutes, and I will let you in on some secrets."  Once my sixteen year old self completes the eye-roll and sigh ritual, I begin. 

1.  High School is not real life.  There are no summer vacations, ski weeks, Holiday breaks or teacher in-service days.  You do not get to re-take the "tests" that you fail, and no one cares if you have ADD.
You are expected to show up on time, prepared to work, and do what you need to do to complete your job succesfully.

2.  No one cares about your birthday.  Ok, MAYBE some of your friends and family remembered, but in general, your birthday is not an occassion.  Work goes on.  Life goes on.  You do not get a free pass to call in sick to work, take a two hour lunch, or force an expensive meal on your loved ones. Sound harsh?  If it does, try to push your maturity past the 13 year old mentality.

3.  Karma is real.  The mean things you do and say about other people WILL come back to bite you. 

4.  People at work like to gossip.  About you.  Being part of the group that starts the rumor doesn't protect you from becoming a rumor.  All it does is let people know that you like to talk smack.  Also, see #3.

5.  Related to #4, #3... Never trust anyone that would tell you someone else's secret.

6.  You do not deserve a six figure income at your first job out of college. Work, pay your dues, and EARN your pay.  The law of the jungle is "eat what you kill" not "eat what I give you for sitting on your duff"

7.  You too, will get cellulite.

8.  Driving a car that costs more than your yearly salary makes you look stupid. 

9.  Whining isnt cute on 3 year olds, and its down-right infuriating on a 30 year old.

10.  The truth is always multi-dimensional. 

Whew! now that I've got all of that off of my chest, I feel much better.  Believe it or not, there are some crazy-wonderful things about growing up that I've learned to cherish.  I've learned that being a mother, for me, is the most amazing and fulfilling thing I choose to do with my time.  Its not for everyone, and thats okay, but it is DEFINITELY for me.  Choosing a spouse that loves you and accepts you unconditionally, even if he's not a big fan of tattoos, is the wisest decision you will ever make.  :)  Earning the praise that you crave feels really, really good.

I've finally reached the age in which I am able to embrace my true, authentic self, regardless of how other people judge me.  I have tattoos...6 of them.  I know some people dont like them, or dont understand them - and thats alright.  All I can ask is that they look beyond it and get to know me.  Afterall, I might not be a big fan of their wardrobe or hair color, but that doesnt make them any less deserving of a fair shake, does it? 

In your mid 30's you also understand that nothing lasts forever, not the bad stuff - and not the good stuff. I like that I know that now, because I don't take so many things for granted.

Thats all I've got today, thanks for hearing me out!